Change...Fear...Anger......

I haven't written about this before because I had to process it first.  According to my latest CT scan taken 11-8-16, my lung tumors are growing again.  Dr. C has added Yervoy (ipilimumab) to my Opdivo chemo regime for the next 4 cycles.  I have had one cycle so far.

Once again, emotions ran strong and took over for a while.  It wasn't the shock and sheer terror that followed diagnosis, this time I had an overwhelming 'angry at the world' feeling because my treatment was letting me down.  Instinctively, for the next few weeks, I let the anger run its course, until it and other repressed emotions were expelled.  Once again, Bernie Siegel's question, 'do I want to live?' had to be examined and answered within myself.  I recommitted to health. 

A big THANK YOU to Mom and my family for putting up with me through the emotional cancer craziness.  I recently found a blog post that best sums up what it is like to have cancer.  It is written by a chemo nurse who was diagnosed with colon cancer.  Here is a link:  https://herecomesthesun927.com/2016/11/14/dear-every-cancer-patient-i-ever-took-care-of-im-sorry-i-didnt-get-it/

lighthouse on a recent trip to Mendocino, CA