Update - so I have had 2 of the 4 Yervoy treatments before my liver enzymes started registering too high for chemo. Currently, I am enjoying a few weeks on prednisone, which so far has been awesome! Gym workouts are amazing, and I have had plenty of energy for long walks with the dogs, extra yard and housework that's been neglected, and an overall feeling of clear headedness and clear breathing. I'll admit that I am worried about the changes taking place in my body, but I am choosing to focus on how I feel today, not what the future holds for me tomorrow.
One of the self-help items that I studied and even took a class at the library on last year was meditation. Based on my research, I tried to set a daily time and place for meditation, following some of the formal instructions and practices that I learned. However, what I have found is that for me, it works better if these introspection sessions are more organic and spontaneous, such as closing my eyes while sitting in a waiting room, or maybe while I am laying in bed, after I've awoken, or am on a quiet walk in nature. I'm finding the length of time doesn't matter, some times it's 2 minutes, other times it may be 20. On this cancer journey I am finding out that if I get quiet, breathe, and take my mind below the surface crazy and noise, that I can hear and follow my own inner voice much easier. And, by doing it my way, I actually look forward to meditation.
When I was growing up and learning to swim, once I mastered diving deep and staying under water, I could look up at all of the kids legs and arms splashing and causing waves. Surface noise was muffled or non-existent, and I could just hang out for a few seconds in peace. So while a formal meditation practice continues to be a challenge for me, if I make it more spontaneous and flexible by visualizing my young swimmer self, I can quiet my mind more easily and better focus on making decisions and plotting a path forward. This will be crucial for my health, given the current political climate and fears over what the future may hold.
So 2017 will be the year that I integrate the self-help information that I have learned to enrich and enjoy life, not just live a Spartan restrictive existence to extend it.
Interestingly enough, I find that when I make a course correction, such as I am doing now shifting from an intense learning focus to an implementation focus, the directions and the guides seem to show up for me. Here is a great example of this. It's a pbs news story on immunotherapy:
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/amp/bb/cancer-immunotherapy-life-saving-powers-limits
