Thursday, May 12, 2016

The good, the bad and the absolutely crazy -a reflection after one year of living with lung cancer

One year after being diagnosed with lung cancer, I feel like now is a good time for reflection.

First the good - all is well with me.  I am still working, exercising and living my life.  I continue to receive bi-weekly Nivolumab IV treatments and regular scans.  Although the tumors are still there, the cancer masses in my lungs have shrunk a great deal, and I feel as if medically things are stable. 

The bad - I lost my first cancer friend recently.  This journey has allowed me to meet many new people, while getting chemo treatment or attending Cancer Support Community classes.  One of those people was a woman named Kathy, who was being treated for breast cancer.  We met last July in the chemo room.  It was actually Mom who spoke with her at first, while she was there for treatment with her daughters.  Turns out we both live in the same town (chemo takes place in a different county 25 miles away from where we live, so there are people from dozens of communities receiving treatment).  Kathy was also one of the closest cancer patients in age to me - she was just a year older. (most of the chemo patients are in their 60's and 70's)  Since that first meeting, I have run into her and her family members at the local Kaiser clinic, at chemo a few times and at a Cancer Support Community class.  It was Mom who noticed her obituary in the local newspaper last week.  The obituary mentioned that Kathy was set to start a new immunotherapy drug trial for breast cancer next month in San Francisco. 

The crazy - the biggest challenge for me this year - LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH THE UNCERTAINTY OF CANCER!  One of the first things I looked for after starting treatment was first hand experiences with lung cancer, with nivolumab, with surviving lung cancer... any kind of evidence of HOPE.  One blog I follow (here is a link:  http://lunaoblog.blogspot.com/) is written by a woman named Luna (same name as my car - its fate!)    Although Luna has a different type of lung cancer and a different treatment regiment, she recently wrote about a feeling that I can relate to - uncertainty.  She talks about how being unsure, uncertain and hesitant about what lies ahead "chips away at her self confidence"  and how she is trying to overcome this feeling of tentativeness.  It is so very comforting to know that I am not alone in this mental struggle! 

Last month I was able to check off a bucket list item - to see the Grand Canyon.  Here is a photo I took recently on that visit.